January 20th,2001, I took my son and our clothes and
ran after my ex tried to beat me in front of my son.
I finally fought back and all the years of martial arts
training from the past helped me to fight for my life
that night.
I was mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted.
I did not know or recognize the 107 pound scrawny
girl staring back from the mirror. The girl was me...
After years of abuse, I actually thought that I was fat
and ugly because that is what my son's biological
father told me day in day out. I was sick and tired of
pots and pans thrown at me, me having to ask
permission for every penny, asking permission to get
groceries, being belittled in front of people.
I came back home with my son, I battled in court to get
a restraining order against my ex and custody of my
son. After obtaining those, still to this day, he refuses
to pay child support.
We are safe now, that's all that matters, but through
that experience, I went back to school to get my Social
Work degree and now I help women and children
through my work at a Social Service Agency. I have
been through so much but at least I have my beautiful
son and I get to experience the joys of being a mother.
abuse. I had been abused for 40 years and today I am
proud to be a Survivor. My father was emotionally and
physically abusive to me in you younger years till the
age of 9.
My step-father began abusing me sexually at the age
of 13.
I have been in numerous abusive relationships that
have all ended with restraining orders and I did not
understand how to get out of the cycle of abuse. I lost
my children while fighting for my children against the
abusive partners I have been involved with.
Today I am proud to say I am in a healthy relationship,
have rebuilt my family and am a grandmother. I am
lucky to be one of the survivors, not all make it and for
the ones that are still out there being abused, please
have the strength to pick up and look at yourself you do
not deserve to be abused in any way. This was the
hardest lesson I had to learn but please know IT IS
NOT YOUR FAULT.
former child abuse survivor. There's not much to say
about me. I'm just an average ordinary girl who is
finding my way in life while reaching out to other
abuse victims and survivors out there. I enjoy writing
poetry and use it to speak out about the abuse I went
through. For a long time, I kept all my feelings and
emotions locked away. I am just now finding my voice
to speak out about the things I went through. My goal
is to one day set up a crisis center for abuse victims so
they have a safe place to go and people to talk to
about what they are facing. I know what it is like to go
through abuse alone and not have anyone there to talk
to about it. I went through my childhood years living
in silence, afraid of what would happen if I did go
forward and tell someone what was happening. I didn't
want to make things worse on myself. Looking back, I
wish I would have had the courage to speak out. It
took me a long time to begin to realize that the abuse I
went through was not my fault. Now I am on a mission
to help other victims and survivors out there, letting
them know that what they go through and went through
is not their fault at all. No one should have to face
things alone in life. There is hope out there and even
when times seem to be dark, there is always light at the
end of the tunnel. You just got to hold on to your faith
and hope, believing in yourself and using your past
experiences to help others and using them as stepping
stones to get where you want to be in life. When you
believe, then you can achieve. There is a future
waiting for you that doesn't have to reflect the past for
in life we always have a second chance.
only wish to spread
awareness of abuse and
show the realties of what
abuse victims and
survivors go through, but
also encourage abuse
survivors and victims to
keep fighting in life and
speak out about what
they have gone through.
There is always a light at
the end of the tunnel."
a 1st degree blackbelt in American Style Karate and
I represent Outbound Karate. I am under the
instruction of Master Chance Burleson, son of
Grandmaster Pat Burelson/founder. I am an Assistant
instructor and stay in continuous training. I have
been training since the summer of 1999.
Among being a blackbelt I am more importantly a
survivor of childhood abuse, incest, abandonment
and obviously domestic violence. I speak out loud of
the abuse that I experienced because I believe that
to speak is to empower.
ex beat me down physically, verbally and emotionally. He convinced me that I
was ugly, fat nobody would ever want me. I was stupid, my mother had died 2
years before we were married and he would tell me I was a whore just like her
and break anything that I had left of my mother’s. He would tell me all I cared
about were material things. One day in 1996 I refused to quit my job and he
punched me in the face. It was so bad I was vomiting and I was
unrecognizable. He did take me to the hospital where he told them we traded
punches. (luckily the Dr. did not believe that and notified police.) There was a
warrant issued but it didn’t take long before I was back. He would try to have my
son taken away by calling DHS and tell them I beat he, or he would slice my
friend’s tires and threaten my family or whom ever I was staying with. He broke
my nose, gave me concussions and wrapped a wire around my throat until I fell
to the ground. He would hold knives to my throat. If I were ever to go out with
some friends just for coffee, as soon as I would walk in the door he would tell
me what a slut I was. Several times he had knocked me down stairs and hit me
in the stomach to cause miscarriages. Then he would insult me and say what
kind of women can’t reproduce. Etc. He would always tell me that he would not
give me more than I could handle. (like he knew how much my body could
handle). Of course he would always cry and say he was sorry and then the gifts
would poor in. This went on for almost 10 years. Until one day in 2003 it
stopped working on me and he started in on my 13 yr old son. When I saw the
sparkle in my sons’ eye slowly die I walked out the door that very next weekend
(10/15/03) I have not looked back since.
I am finally free of him. He went on to become a cage fighter. Even with all of
that training he could walk up to me today and I would not be afraid.
The biggest therapy for me is telling my story to as many people want to hear
it. I love to help the women and children that are going through this or have
gone through it, but can’t seem to move on. .
